The intensity of the dialogue partners’ bond at the end of the forty-five-minute vulnerability interaction was rated as closer than the closest relationship in the lives of 30 percent of similar students. Via Dan Ariely: We limited the type of discussions that online daters could engage in by eliminating their ability to ask anything that they wanted and giving them a preset list of questions and allowing them to ask only these questions. No matter their gender or orientation, beer-lovers are 60% more likely to be okay with sleeping with someone they’ve just met.
In other words, the instant connections were more powerful than many long-term, even lifelong relationships. The questions we chose had nothing to do with the weather and how many brothers and sisters they have, and instead all the questions were interesting and personally revealing (ie., “how many romantic partners did you have? Sadly, this is the only question with a meaningful correlation for women.
If you could be any person for a day, who would it be?
Do your parents still live in the house you grew up in?
Four things to ask her or him about on a first date? Here, we’ve divided your hypothetical first date into five phases and suggested a series of questions to ask your date during each.
These questions are key primers, the ones to ask after you’ve said hello, and settled in somewhere comfortable.
This acceptance and redirection is the push and pull that creates smoothness.
If you and your date are starting to hit it off, it’s time to start slipping in some slightly more personal questions, while making sure neither of you feel compelled to reveal too much. If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
If you won the lottery tomorrow, what’s the first thing you’d buy?
Given that he has just an hour or so to create the intimacy levels that typically take weeks, months, or years to form, he accelerated the getting-to-know-you process through a set of thirty-six questions crafted to take the participants rapidly from level one in Mc Adams’s system to level two. In under an hour it can create a connection stronger than a lifelong friendship. Everyone, both sender and replier, was happier with the interaction…What we learned from this little experiment is that when people are free to choose what type of discussions they want to have, they often gravitate toward an equilibrium that is easy to maintain but one that no one really enjoys or benefits from.
Via Click: The Magic of Instant Connections: What he found was striking. Forcing people to discuss interesting but more controversial topics made for more enjoyable first date conversation. Dating site Ok Cupid found one question that was the single best predictor of whether men or women would have sex on the first date: Via Ok Cupid: Among all our casual topics, whether someone likes the taste of beer is the single best predictor of if he or she has sex on the first date…